Father Goat Tonsils

By Master Billy Dingus

Given all the recent concern about internet censorship, I feel the time has come for a solution. Obviously, it is not possible to keep people from swearing out loud. And current legislation more or less keeps obscene language out of television and radio. But how do we, as upstanding citizens, keep this foul language from rearing its ugly head on the information superhighway? My invention is a computer keyboard without vowels. I have found that most swear words contain vowels. This new keyboard would make it impossible to type in swear words. Of course, some clever computer “hackers” (as they call themselves) might figure out a way to circumvent the keyboards by cutting and pasting, or by using a scanner. But I feel these new keyboards would greatly cut down on internet obscenity. Obviously, one would not be able to type normal words either, but why wouldn’t it be possible to create a clean new computer language without vowels? I think it’s high time we gave it a try.